Valentine's Day

Money has been tight and time has been tighter, and Valentine's Day fell on a weekend, and we've promised all our non-promised weekends to our house renovations. . . .so that meant for Valentine's Day weekend we were home, and we were working. Friday night Shane cooked chicken and pastry for me (one of my favorites). I took time to create a table setting that even Sandra Lee would probably approve of for Valentine's Day -- a white tablecloth with clear vinyl placemats with multi-colored hearts and a little glitter for good measure, a centerpiece that was quickly pieced together from various little gifts and hand-me-downs, and 2 floating candles. . . .quick and simple, but festive -- and nice. So in between working upstairs and getting ready for my sister's baby shower and doing dishes and laundry, we dined.. .Saturday morning Shane brought me breakfast in bed, which was delicious, and he even color-coordinated the dishes on the tray with the tray. . . (am I a lucky girl or what to have a man who even notices???) We sanded, cleaned, and painted upstairs all day long Saturday. I took some steaks out to thaw early in the day. . . .I stopped around 5 or so and went downstairs -- took out the trusty laptop and began searching for recipes. One of our favorite movies is Chocolat, and we had joked about doing a chocolate feast for supper on Valentine's Day and watching the movie. . . .so I found recipe for a steak rub that contained...................yes, chocolate (and coffee and oregano and salt and pepper and cayenne and paprika. . . .) So I whipped that up and massaged the steaks well, stuck them back in the fridge. . . .then looked up a chocolate vinaigrette salad dressing Sandra Lee had made on Food Network. Unfortunately, it called for a pre-made balsamic vinaigrette dressing (which I happened NOT to have), so then I had to look for Rachael Ray's balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Well, when I finished I had a chocolate vinaigrette and it was actually very good! Now, I can't tell you that I added chocolate to the baked potatoes -- they were just butter and cheese, but I did spray them with olive oil and sprinkle them with sea salt before wrapping them in foil and baking them. . . .After we showered, we got a little dressed up. . . .then we lit the candles, listened to NorthPole radio, turned on the gas logs, and had a wonderful relaxing supper. We followed it up by watching Chocolat, snuggling on the sofa and ending on a very romantic note ;~}

No roses, no candy, no dinner reservations, no balloons, no pantyhose, no fighting the crowds at the restaurants, no standing in long lines, no chaos, no drama -- just Shane and me spending a beautiful, nice, quiet, private evening together. . . .

Dinner from the freezer/pantry $0.00
1 Valentine's Day card bought on sale $1.50
1 tablescape created from stuff on hand $0.00
Private showing of a romantic movie $0.00
A quiet, PRIVATE gourmet dinner with your handsome husband AND getting home renovations moving forward PRICELESS

The Strength of a Mama

You know, last summer Mama had surgery. The doctors told her that she really needed to stop smoking. We all knew that was unlikely. . . Mama had been a smoker for 50ish years! She had started as a teenager, and was quite dependent. We were thrilled when she made the decision to stop. It's been about 8 months now, and there have been so many blessings -- sometimes they crop up at unexpected times -- like when we all went out to dinner recently. The hostess asked "Smoking? or Non?" I started to say "Smoking" for Mama's sake, but then I realized that I didn't have to do that anymore. .. . The day to day blessings are the best -- the fact that the house doesn't smell like smoke -- we can go visit and our clothes don't smell like smoke. . . there's not nasty ashtrays everywhere. . . . .and the timing was impeccable, since Shanda is expecting a baby in a few weeks.

Smoking has been a part of our lives forever, and it is really incredible that it is not anymore. It was probably one of the hardest things she's ever done, and while I know she did it in part for her health, I think she also knew how happy it would make us for that part of our lives to be behind us. How wonderful to be able to breathe easy and clean and clear. And how amazing is the strength of a mama.

Living with PCOS

OK, this one's kind of personal, but most of you who are reading are my friends and family. And if not, you probably got here looking for info about PCOS, so you'll understand. I've been thinking alot about this lately.

I always think about it when I read the biblical account regarding the woman with the issue of blood. I'm not sure what her issue was, but I imagine it was much like mine. Eternal menstrual cycles meant eternal uncleanness -- she was ostracized in some really sad ways -- considered unclean meant that no one could really touch her. . . she was never going to get married -- she was destined for a life of loneliness and exclusion. My life could be worse. Thank Heavens I wasn't born in biblical times.

And of course, there's the barrenness issue. Here, again, let me appeal to the Bible and reference the stories of Leah and Rachel, Abraham and Sarah, Hannah, etc. Yes, I may not be able to have children, but it is certainly more acceptable now (though no less sad) than it would have been then. Thank Heavens I wasn't born in biblical times.

Now, if I had been born around the turn of the 20th century, I could have had an interesting job as part of a traveling circus as a bearded lady. . . yes, I do know it's not "normal" for women to have the facial hair that I have, and yes, I am aware of waxing, depilatories, shaving, and plucking -- however, none of those work for me on a frequent enough basis to look "normal" so, unfortunately for me, living in 2009, that means lots of questions from nephews and students about why women have mustaches or beards -- and the whole hormone thing a little difficult to explain to 5, 7 or 35 year-olds, so I don't usually bother. I simply say, "sometimes they do. . ." But, again, it could be worse -- I'm not a member of the freak show of the traveling circus -- although sometimes I feel like it. . . .

The accusations are never-ending: butch, lazy, fat, freak, etc., but the truth is this: I have PCOS, and because of that my hormones are as screwy as they come, and that affects weight, hair growth, moods, fertility, and probably a thousand other things that I'm not even aware of. And yes, I've spent my fair share of days crying, feeling sorry for myself, being depressed, etc. -- and in all honesty, those days have probably not seen their end, but it could be worse. I am happily married to a man who loves me even if I could be in a circus freak show, and cannot give him children. I am aware of my blessings, thank God for the humility that comes with the challenges I have faced, and ask Him for wisdom for how to handle questions and comments that are embarrassing.

But if Jesus walked by, I think I would reach for his garments too, because this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. Nonetheless I will try my best to face it with grace and confidence in the one who can overcome. . . and long for heaven, where I have already reserved my size 3 (or at least 7/8) heavenly body with no facial hair, my place in the choir, and the acceptance that I've sometimes missed out on down here. :~)

PS And I really hope I don't wake up regretting this post tomorrow :~\

Little Miracles

Life is full of little miracles -- some big ones too. Take for instance the fact that Grandma Nita had a significant amount of cash saved for a trip that was in the house that burned. The only things they've been able to salvage are a couple of pairs of shoes, some fine jewelry, and. . . you guessed it -- paper money -- go figure. Isn't God great? He takes what could be the most terrible event in our life in a long time, finds an amazing positive twist, and reminds us that He is in control. Praise Him for little miracles -- and big reminders!

Prayer Requests. . . .

Hi to all our friends and family, Some of you already know one or more bits of this news, but I wanted to share so everyone could be praying for Shane's family. It's been a tough week. On Monday, his brother, Randy, left for Afghanistan for a "year-ish" tour of duty. We have heard that they arrived safely in Afghanistan, but as many of you know, the fighting is pretty severe there, so please keep him in your prayers -- and the family he left to serve our country. We are all missing him and thinking of him and worried about him, and we appreciate your thoughts and prayers during his time there. Then yesterday, Grandma Nita (some of you know her as Juanita Vaughn; some of you have never met her, but she is Shane's 83 year old grandmother. . .) was coming back from dinner with Shane's parents -- got back into the house and was in the basement, heard an explosion, realized her car and then her house were on fire, grabbed her purse, went back downstairs, out the back door and called 911. Unfortunately, she lost everything -- the car and the house were totally destroyed. The insurance people haven't been out yet, so we don't know details -- she has a furnished place to stay for the moment, and they have bought her clothes for the time being, so the only thing she needs right now are lots and lots of prayers. There are so many blessings. . . .the car waited until she was NOT in it to catch on fire! She heard it in time and was able to get out! She grabbed her purse, which will save her some chaos! There was no one else in the house for her to worry about or go back in after (Pop passed several years ago and her cat died just a few weeks ago [another sadness she's endured. . ]). Lots of blessings, but still so hard to let go of ALL your human possessions -- and 83 years is a long time to accumulate memories to watch them all go up in smoke! Please keep her -- and Randy -- and all of the family in your prayers. We are thankful for our blessings, but it has been a difficult week! Thanks for all your positive thoughts and prayers! "Remember where you have been and know where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way." Nikita Koloff