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Tonnye Fletcher
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Tonnye Fletcher
Not if its any trouble It was someone in thе building f rinth of wind-shields that mirrored a dozen suns
__________
06.10.2014 16:03:00

My Personal Mission Statement

My friend, Julie, knows how to ask just the right questions. We are both deep thinkers, but not very structured and methodical, so our conversations typically are all over the map. Last week was no exception, as we met for an evening of writing, sharing, feedback...a "creative meeting", as she called it. And it was...creative, and lovely, and thought-provoking, and inspiring, and...she really does ask the best questions....so, during our meeting, she looks at me and says, so, Tonnye, what do you think God has called you to do? What do you think your calling in life is?" Wow! No one has asked me that before, and, sadly, I had never asked myself either. I don't know if I would have been able to answer at any other time better than right now. The answer came more quickly than I would have guessed, but as I thought briefly on her question, I knew it had to be words, and that was my answer to her...."Words..." when she asked me to elaborate, I began to talk about how God expects me to use my words to help people. As I thought further, and into the next several days about her question, my answer, my life, and my calling, here are some thoughts that provided clarity. -- 1- I learned to talk early, a lot, and well, and I've never stopped. :-). Some would tell you I never stop...present tense. 2-I learned to read early, well, and loved it! I still do! 3- I learned to write early, and have almost always processed problems, issues, and thoughts in writing, whether it was a list, a Poem, a story, a blog entry, or a letter. Then I thought about the roles I currently fulfill in my life... 1-Teacher. As a teacher, I constantly use words (along with much else) to instruct, inspire, manage, etc. my students' learning. I have to be an effective communicator and use words effectively to do that. 2- Prayer Team Leader. In my church family, I serve as Prayer/Care Team Leader. In this capacity, I serve people with great needs. A huge part of my role is to speak love, truth, comfort, peace, joy, and/or conviction into people's hearts and lives. 3- Songwriter. As a songwriter, God is blessing me with the capability to put words, music, thoughts, and ideas together in moving ways. The songs I'm writing now are mostly centered on Him or our response to Him. But there are others that speak of the process of life, honoring others, the struggles of life....many areas that could speak to people during difficult times. 4- Writer at large. I have so many projects in my head and in my heart that are designed to entertain, instruct, interest, share.... We need to laugh and work on our marriages, and read books about scripture, and know about the world around us, and appreciate the beauty we see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. Many of my writings bring one or more of these concepts to life. Then I thought about what the scriptures say about what we say, and think. Consider these scriptures: Proverbs 21:23. Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up! As fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 12:18b. The tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 18:21a Death and life are in the power of the tongue... There are MANY more. This is just a quick sampling...God wants us to guard our tongue and use it to bring healing, strength, encouragement, peace....and He has equipped me to do this. As I have pondered that this week, I realized, more than ever before what a huge responsibility that is. I also began to think about all the churches, schools, fortune 500 companies that have mission statements, and I thought, maybe we should have personal mission statements, too. Now, I have worked in schools where you had to have the mission statement posted....but no one ever went over it, never read it, never had professional development about it. It's very presence changes nothing. But, if we see it daily, read it daily, dissect it to understand it fully, commit to it and strive to implement it to its fullest extent, revisit it, and tweak it often, as new insight affects it, then we have in our hands a powerful tool for life change! Having said that, I have prayed about it over the last several days, thought deeply about it, talked with people who know me, care about me, and understand me. I have researched words, and thought about wordage. I have crafted my own personal mission statement. I went on to define for me, personally, what that might look like in my current roles. Might it change? Yes... Might I fail? Yes.... but I think having these guiding principles in place will help me to do my job better, shine my light better, and live for Him better. My Mission Statement My mission in life, (as revealed to me by God through the talents, interests, and abilities with which He has blessed me,) is to USE WORDS to: Educate, Enable, Encourage, Engage, Empower, Entertain, Equip, Edify, Embolden, Embrace, Enlist, Enliven, Enlighten, Excite,  and Evangelize people. I can fulfill the mission with which He has entrusted me by:  1) Listening and responding with words of prayer, encouragement, respect, advice, and love. 2) Praying for people daily of whose needs I am aware. 3) Teaching students, peers, interns, and anyone else God places within my path using the best words and best methods I know, and continuing to learn myself. 4) Knowing the scriptures well enough to share Gods words when people are in need. 5) Writing articles, poems, stories, songs, and books that minister to people on some level, whether through laughter, spiritual empowerment, information, emotional connection, or educational prowess, etc. This is mine, and even in the days that I've been crafting it, I've had some epic fails. But because I know my mission, I know when I am failing, and then, I can improve....by knowing the goal, I can move closer to achieving said goal... So, this is mine...what's your calling?

Things to Do when you are sad

My sister posted a great little pin to her pinterest entitled: Things to do when you are sad. And since I'm having a particularly sad day today, I thought I would make my own list. So here's my version of things to do when you are sad:

1. Color in a coloring book.
2. Pick some flowers -- or some fruit.
3. Snuggle up under a blanket with hot tea and read.
4. Eat a healthy snack.
5. Watch funny movies -- or I Love Lucy
6. Count your blessings.
7. Think about all the people who love you.
8. Listen to happy music.
9. Pray.
10. Read your Bible.
11. Write a thank you note to a friend.
12. Play silly computer games.
13. Go to Pinterest and look at all the amazing things people have found.
14. Do a good deed for someone else.
15. Eat ice cream.
16. Play with a child.
17. Scrapbook it.
18. Bake
19. Cuddle a teddy bear -- or a significant other
20. Watch a ridiculously sad movie, and just give in to the sadness for a while.
21. Go outside -- take a walk; lie in a hammock, or in the grass
22. Take a nap
23. Eat soup
24. Write down your feelings in a journal.
25. Spend time with people you love.
26. Get out of the house!

I've done many of these today -- getting ready to do a few more. Next on my list: pick flowers and eat some watermelon. Later, color, snuggle with hot tea and a good book or a happy movie. . . we'll see. . . If you're sad, try some of these -- they'll help chase away the sadness.

The Climb

I was cleaning house today and ran across this poem I wrote 2/16/93 and it reminded me of Clay's lesson Sunday at Barefoot Church. I hope it provides some encouragement.

Lord, sometimes I might be selfish
When I come to you in prayer.
It may seem all I talk about
Is all my earthly cares.

So now I want to take the time
To give you all my heart
And tell you that I'm thankful
For the blessings you impart.

I realize I'm blessed
By the mountains that you give,
And every blessing from you
Helps me a better life to live.

I love you for the sunshine
And I love you for the rain --
I love you in times of joy
As well as times of pain.

I know they're all blessings
Though sometimes I don't show it.
Lord, help me more often
To show that I know it.

Sometimes I realize
We're strongest when weak.
Sometimes I forget
and long for that peak.

Lord, help me to know
That the valleys I need
To climb the tall mountains
With any good speed.

Times may seem hard
And we wish for the grand
Lord, help me to remember
To hold to your hand.

For your hands are strong
Even when mine are weak
And with your help and love
I know I'll reach the peak.

2010 in Review

Ok, Friends, if you're interested in our annual news, here goes.  If not, feel free to delete :~P 2010 was a busy, blessed, and beautiful year -- with a few kinks thrown in to make us appreciate the rest! Shane is continuing with his doctoral studies at NCSTATE in Raleigh -- probably just over half done with course work.  It is a long process, and hard on our schedule and our finances!  I am so proud of him for doing this (and doing well, so far!), but I'll be absolutely thrilled when he is finished!!!!!! I have enjoyed a fringe benefit of getting to visit my sister in Durham more often and lots of special time with my nephew, Chandler, who will be 2 on March 30.  He loves Aunt Nene and the feeling is quite mutual.  I find him smart, funny, and fascinating!  I've watched him grow and change and learn and it is utterly amazing.  He'll be welcoming home a sibling late February/early March -- I'll love him/her regardless, but must admit my fingers are crossed for a girl.  Shanda and Stephen are doing well. We do have one other chance for a niece, as Shane's sister, Kelli, is pregnant -- due in June.  We enjoyed spending time with them in June for Wylder's birthday.  Unfortunately, we had an emergency when our best friend, Randy Spruill, ended up in the hospital with an aneurysm.  We left immediately for the Outer Banks.  Randy underwent a 12 hour brain surgery and was in the hospital/rehab from mid-June to mid-September -- not much of a summer for the Spruills.  We visited a weekend in August right before we went back to school, and Randy was still not talking, walking, or doing much else.  We had our regular Christmas weekend with them a couple of weeks ago, and he is walking with no assistance (no cane, no walker, or anything else!!!!!!)  His talking is (almost) completely normal, and his voice sounds basically the same.  His sense of humor is well intact, as is his zest for life.  He continues with various therapies to try to regain as much capabilities as possible.  His deficits are in his left arm/hand, vision, and some processing skills (mathematical stuff, for example).  We all appreciate your continued prayers for the Spruill family.  They are an amazing force in the world, and not surprisingly, they have faced this with grace, gratitude, and grit!  We are excited for all the miracles we've witnessed in this family this year, and are hoping 2011 is much LESS eventful for them. We are back in GA for our second visit of the year, and are enjoying our time very much -- Christmas traditions alive and well -- shopping, cooking, games, puzzle, family time. . . .we are blessed to still have Grandma Nita with us well into her 80s -- mostly healthy, mobile and living on her own with her husband of (almost) 2 years -- Papa Al.  We are bittersweet to be here with almost all the family.  Last year this time Randy was in Afghanistan and Josh was also there.  Both are home now, safe and sound, praise God!  Now, we have 2 new military family members, as Nelson Rey and Julia's boyfriend, Jonathan joined up.  Both of them will probably end up in Afghanistan or Iraq. . .Also, Randy, Marina, and Mason are leaving here directly for Alaska -- their new orders.  We will definitely miss them being so close!  We have enjoyed tons of backyard parties, date nights, playdates, ball games, etc. while they've been in Fayetteville.  The good news is perhaps we'll get a visit to Alaska -- the bad news is we will certainly not see them as often.  The other young nephews are doing great -- Wylder will be 3 in June and Braden just turned 2.  Josh and Sophia are still stationed in Italy, and that is the gaping hole this Christmas as they are not coming home.  We miss them very much. We are both still teaching at Union Chapel Elementary in Pembroke.  Shane is teaching 6th grade (language arts this year) and I am teaching 2nd grade.  I have a lovely group of  25 students that I am enjoying very much and cannot believe the year is almost half over.  Shane has two blocks of 21 -22 students and is team-teaching with my former assistant, Jolena Locklear.  As usual, he is stretched too thin with too many responsibilities, but it has provided opportunities for him to do some additional trainings throughout the county, which is good experience and (sometimes) provides extra income. . . so that is a positive.  We both presented at last years' NC Reading Conference and are both slated to present this year as well. I have been blessed with the same assistant for 2 years now, and she is a friend as well as a colleague.  We enjoy working together. We are also both still involved with the Robeson County Reading Council.  Shane is finishing his tenure as president of the organization and I am in my 4th year as Young Author Chair.  While it has been an interesting experience, we will be glad when his presidential time is over.  It is a lot of responsibility and requires a lot of time. I am serving as chaplain for the second time for my educational sorority, Alpha Delta Kappa.  We enjoy monthly meetings, doing altrustic projects, and fellowshipping/supporting each other. In April, Shane and I began making some drastic lifestyle changes in regards to health and diet.  We dove in full-force when school was out in June.  Due to the changes, Shane lost 30 lbs and his sugar is well under control.  I have lost 51 lbs!  We have cut out all wheat, no processed sugar, as much natural, organic and fresh foods as possible.  I have also integrated exercise, which has helped me in myriad ways.  Currently, I am doing zumba 1-3 days a week at work, and fitting in whatever other exercise I can.  We bought new bikes this year, too, which we have enjoyed. In November, we had our annual Thanksgiving Praise service, with about 25 folks coming to sing and pray and worship  and fellowship together.  We enjoyed a variety of soups/crackers/breads, and ended our evening with the traditional bonfire/marshmallow toast. We enjoyed our staff retreat in November as well, traveling to Kingsmill Resort in Williamsburg, VA.  We had some nice time with our friend, Jonah Doeller.  Shane presented for the retreat and had tons of schoolwork to do for his doctorate, so we didn't get a chance to do much else, but it was nice to get away. Also In November, we began attending a new church in Whiteville.  It is a contemporary, non-denominational church, with a worship band and over 1500 members on 3 campuses.  While it is very different from the church that Shane and I were raised in, and the change did not come easily, it has already been such a blessing.  We are beginning to get involved, and while we don't fully agree with everything, we find the overall spirit of the church to be very in line with where God has been leading us in our prayer and study.  It is very focused on showing God's love in the world, as evidenced by our mission statement "changing lives that change the world".  We find the services very motivational and Bible-based.  And the people we've met and fellowshipped with so far seem to have a wonderful zest for Jesus and his story in our world.  We enjoyed our very first candlelight communion service last Wednesday, which was absolutely wonderful.  Our hope is that God is going to use us in mighty ways in this new community called Barefoot Church (named after the community in North Myrtle Beach where it began).   While we will miss the Christmas Eve services in person, we are hoping to catch in on the Internet campus tonight, and look forward to Christmas services on Sunday and baptisms!  If you're interested, you can check it out at barefootchurch.com.  Or if you're local, we're meeting in the old Badcock building behind McDonalds.  Sunday services are at 9:30 and 11:15.   And while we realize that our Church of Christ friends and family will be disappointed in this decision, please know that it did not come easily or quickly, and that it was accompanied by lots of prayer and study.  We hope that we can still fellowship as friends and family, and still consider you our brothers and sisters in Christ, and hope you can do the same.  We wish you all the best as we journey together into 2011. Our prayer for you is good health, happy times, and more blessings than you can count.  If hard times come your way in 2011, our prayer is that God will grant you strength, patience, and perseverance to overcome your trials.  Our hope is that we'll find joy in each others' company, whether face-face, on-line or via written communication.  We love you all and thank you for being a part of our lives!  Many blessings, and much love, Shane and Tonnye   Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!  ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

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Blessings,
Tonnye Fletcher

 

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.  ~Thornton Wilder

The Fishing Trip

It was a lovely vacation until the day of the fishing trip. I was excited; hoping to see whales or dolphins or something amazing, but I also felt very anxious, since I had never been on the ocean before. Some family told me I should take some medicine, but my husband didn’t want me to, because he was afraid I would get sleepy and not enjoy the day. It was a beautiful day and the warm summer sun shone down, yet there was a cool breeze from the water. We went to the wharf to board the boat our family had chartered. There were six of us, along with two crewmembers. It was supposed to be a half-day trip, but Capt. Bryan said we might have to go out further to get any good fishing in, so we agreed to a full day trip. The ride out was incredible. The boat went so fast and the spray felt cool and refreshing. I wasn’t bothered by the motion – the boat virtually flew across waves. We saw a school of flying fish --nothing – then, suddenly several flashes of silver would erupt from the waves like fireworks. They would sail through the air, sometimes for quite a distance before diving into the water once again. It was a sight to behold! We rode for miles into the ocean – no land visible in any direction. It was a little disconcerting, but I was okay – until we stopped. When the boat was still, it wasn’t still. Suddenly I understood The Pirate Ship I’ve ridden so many times at Six Flags. Only this was worse – much, much worse! Soon I wasn’t feeling very well. . . I took a Dramamine, knowing it was already too late. I ate crackers to no avail. I went inside the cabin. That didn’t help either. I was seasick! What a terrible feeling! It was miserable on a thousand different levels. Somehow I survived the day, although I didn’t enjoy it. It was eleven very long hours on the ocean. No whales, no dolphins, and we only caught one fish– a mahi-mahi that ended up costing us over $1,000! However, it was an experience from which I learned. As I reflect now, I consider the day and compare it to my reading experience. Like the day, I began my reading experience with both excitement and trepidation. Like the boat ride, there is sometimes excitement, sometimes fear. The waves carried us far out into the world as reading has always done for me. There have been highs and lows in my reading over the years, as the boat rode high and low in sync with the waves. However, unlike the fishing trip, reading is an adventure I will choose over and over again in spite of uncertainties. I don’t know when – if ever – I’ll go on another deep sea fishing voyage. For some things, once truly is enough!
Tonnye Williams Fletcher
Forever Young Author
Union Chapel Elementary School
Robeson Reading Council

Fingers of God

Today Shane and I walked on the beach at Cherry Grove. We were all the way at the end where the inlet and the ocean meet. It was low tide, so there was lots of room to walk. For a while the sand was dry and bleached perfectly white and it had smooth flowing waves. Then we got to an area that was hard, smooth and damp. Around a tidal pool, there was an area of sand that was heavily ridged. Along the edges of another tidal pool, the edges had a terraced look -- layers and layers of sand, slightly graduated. In some areas, the water had cut deep canyons into the sand. Other areas had shallow rivulets flowing. One area looked pithy, like a pumice stone with millions of tiny holes. Some areas had gentle depressions, as if someone had raked their fingers through the dampened sand. So I began to think of fingers on the sandy shore of our lives. I thought of how God sometimes allows us to hang loose and free -- natural and flowing. Sometimes he allows the rivers to carve canyons in our souls to develop our character or to help us appreciate the blessings we have or to have a feeling of empathy for others with canyons carved in their souls. Sometimes we find ourselves full of tiny holes, soaking up all the positive and negative life has to offer. Sometimes our lives are flat and smooth with very little chaos, and sometimes chaos produces heavy ridges -- ups and downs, some wet with tears, others dry and thirsty. As God dips his fingers into our lives, we have to trust -- even when he refrains from dipping his fingers into the landscape of our lives. We have to trust that if he created the oceans and the tides and the tidal pools and all the configurations the same sand can create under his craftsmanship, then certainly our lives will be no less beautiful. Whatever his fingers are doing or not doing in your life, step back, take a look at the artistic piece he's composing, and if you don't like what you see, have a conversation with the sculptor and then watch and see what your life becomes.

Bring on the Gravy!

I spent several hours yesterday with my family -- more specifically with Daddy, Shanda, and Dale. We planted 14 rows of Irish potatoes. . . .Shanda and I sat on the setter behind the tractor, dropping potatoes into the ground. Daddy, of course, was driving the tractor, and Dale walked behind planting the ones that didn't go deep enough or fixing any little problems the setter (or Shanda and I) had. It wasn't the hardest job, nor the easiest I've ever done. Shanda was thrilled to be dirty (city-living really doesn't agree with her), and I must admit it felt good, although my manicure suffered, and now I have semi-permanent potato and dirt stains on my thumbs. My butt was temporarily numb, and today my upper body is slightly sore. But it is a good sore-ness. It was cool to be a kid again with an adult perspective. In so many ways it felt like "old times". Dale being a typical brother -- teasing, aggravating -- we sang and laughed together. Daddy laughed at us and with us. Hopefully this summer we'll have lots of potatoes for potato soup, mashed potatoes, French fries, potatoes au gratin, etc. But we've already reaped the greatest reward -- time well-spent with people you love. That, my friends, is gravy! :~)

Are You SURE You Want to Be a Teacher?????

Okay, if you have any dreams of becoming a teacher, stop reading right now! If I had video-taped part of this day, it could have been part of a teacher boot camp program. . . .

9:30 AM A knock on my door -- ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher with a Hispanic family. She introduced me to a new student for my class. Problem: He's straight from Mexico and speaks no English. He's not happy to be here (Read here: Understatement of the century as evidenced by his burying himself in his mother's side, copious crying, and wailing. . . .) I try to say, "Hola", but he is not ready to hear me. ESL teacher talks with him to no avail. Still, he cries; still he wails. . . .We call out one of my other Hispanic students thinking it will help. He's not ready to hear him, either. His wish is simple -- he wants to go home! Finally we give up temporarily. ESL teacher says, "We'll bring him back in a few minutes. He needs some time." OK with me. . . . so I step back in my room. . . .what I see is Ms. April standing beside the desk of one of my students who is throwing up repeatedly. Ms. April is holding the trash can and paper towels and looking not a little disconcerted. So I press the intercom button to call the office and ask them to send a custodian.

9:40 Custodian arrives, starts cleaning up; The dad brings new student back (kicking and screaming no less) He tries to get new student to go into the room -- reminds me muchly of trying to put a cat in a sink full of water -- arms and legs went out in every direction -- clawing, scratching, and grabbing anything he could to keep from going in. . .(In fact I think he must have gotten Dad, because there was blood on my door in the aftermath. . . .) Dad wrestled him in, while custodian was trying to get in and out with broom, mop . . .and sick student was trying to get out with trash can in her hands in case she got sick again.

9:45 New student is in, Dad is gone; sick student has called home -- someone is on the way to pick her up; sickness is cleaned up, custodian is gone.

Now new student is fighting me right and left. . .He wants his mama; he wants his daddy; he wants to go home. . . .He wails, cries, smacks his head, yells at me, tries to get to the door repeatedly. . . . . and this replays for the next 2 hours -- intermixed with my 15 other students asking a million questions -- "What's his name? -- Where's he from? Why's he crying? Can we introduce ourselves? Why does he spell his name like that? Doesn't he speak English? . . . . ."

After a while, we do try to introduce ourselves, but he cries through the whole thing and won't look at anybody.

I assign another Hispanic student to be his shadow (friend, helper. . . )He sits on one side and I sit on the other (I'm still afraid at this point he's going to bolt for the door as soon as he gets a chance. -- and BTW, I did have to restrain him a time or two to keep him from making a run for it. :~\) I tried to reassure him, but he only wants his mom, his dad and to go home. So I tried to go over the reading story with the rest of my children. No chance. . . he is wailing too loud and the other students are way too distracted. At one point he calms down slightly, and as I'm trying to read over him, and his student helper turns to me and says, "Mrs. Fletcher, you need to 'shh' -- he needs it quieter. . . ." (I'll just let that one hang there a while. . . .)

11:45 Blessedly, lunchtime finally arrives. My main worry is if he's going to try to run when we get into the hallway. So I position myself on one side, with his student shadow on the other. I held his hand all the way to lunch, and he was much calmer. He didn't want anything to eat, but finally did eat a little bit; sat with his new friend -- saw a couple of brief, tentative smiles.

12:30 Back in the classroom; the closer we get to the room, the more upset he gets. I kept trying to think what I could do to make him feel more comfortable. I decided to try to introduce the rest of my class to some Spanish, and him to some English by playing some songs I have in both languages. . . .That didn't help -- he got more and more upset. . . .I finally gave up and had Ms. April take them to the carpet to read the reading story. While they did that, he and I sat at the computer going over simple addition facts -- numbers in Spanish, then English. He smiled quite a big, began repeating numbers in English, and I was feeling pretty good about our progress. Eventually he tired of it, and I moved him to another computer and put him on Starfall.com where he could hear the English alphabet and letter sounds and read simple stories in English. He worked happily on the computer for about an hour -- peace -- ahhh! Finally! The class went over some math in preparation for a quiz tomorrow.

1:45 Took a bathroom break, and he actually went to the bathroom. . .came back and got right back on the computer.

2:10 They called over the intercom and said he was supposed to ride the bus home. . . the wailing started again. . .oh, no. . . .I'm trying to make arrangements for the rest of my kids so I can walk him to the bus. . . then they call back and say, oh, nevermind -- his parents are coming to get him . . . .whew! OK -- He's ready to go home, and for that fact, SO AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:45 We head outside, and he spots his mom right away. They're going to pick him up tomorrow. I assure him he can go home, but I'll see him tomorrow "Hasta la manana. . . "

Now, let me just say, I cannot imagine how he must feel and my heart is truly going out to him, and I really wish I had taken Spanish, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow (especially considering my assistant will not be there tomorrow. . .), but I'm very glad it's Friday, and if you really, truly still think you want to be a teacher, you should probably see a therapist :~)

Winter Battle

Drill Sergeant Winter has his way. . .
He sweeps in amidst an entourage
Of frosty air and bone-chilling temperatures.
He barks out orders to the ranks of fallen leaves,
Marching them across frozen plains
In perfect formation
To the cadence of January winds.
Occasionally the army of leaves gets caught in a cyclonic battle,
Swirling into the air as the skirmish
Escalates.
The cold, gray days of battle and marching in formation
Seem unending,
Until finally the batallion of leaves is left
Frayed and in disarrayed piles
As the war ends
And the wind dies
And winter surrenders
To spring

Welcome 2010

It is New Year’s Day. The beginning of a new day, a new year, a new decade. I’ve lived through 42 New Year’s Days, and each one has been different, with different accomplishments, struggles, and things to look forward to. I wonder what this 43rd year will hold for me. What will I do with it? How will I use it? I don’t want to have any regrets – I want to use it up and extrude every bit of life from it there is to live. New Year’s Resolutions. . . .sometimes they get a bad rap. Perhaps you’re one of those who says, “I never keep them anyway. . .what’s the use?” I think there is a use. I believe in the power of new year’s resolutions. Think about it. Every successful retail businessperson knows the value of taking inventory. You look at your stock: the things that sold well that you need to make sure you reorder; the items you thought would sell, but didn’t; the items that served their purpose, but their time is up; the seasonal items. You look for the things that need to be thrown out, put on clearance sales, reordered, etc. And while our lives are not retail merchandise, the principle still applies. We need to examine our lives (and our possessions) and see what is broken that can be fixed, or if it is unfixable and needs to be discarded. We need to take stock of all the good things in our world that we should give thanks for and make sure we nurture those things. It is a sort of “cleaning house”, but not so much the physical items, but all the emotional, mental, psychological, too. What is healthy – what do I keep? What do I toss? But it’s also about orienting ourselves. A ship with no anchor is tossed with the tides. A teacher with no objectives is not very effective. A person without goals is just going through the motions. We need goals – objectives, purpose – in order to be effective human beings. It is not enough to sail through our days. We need to live them with purpose. I read a lovely (fictional) book this summer called Twenty Wishes. The ladies therein were in different stages of their lives, but they inspired each other to create a list of twenty wishes – and they each approached it in a different way. Some began tentatively, not sure what to wish for; others threw caution to the wind and made big wishes. The cool thing is that by the end of the book, many of their wishes had been fulfilled. Magic? Fiction? I think it is simply having a goal in front of you – making your wishes tangible. Looking at them daily. . . .as the Bible says (paraphrasing here – it comes from Deut. 6 if you want to read the exact wording) write them on your forehead, on your doorposts, think about them in the morning, at noon, and in the evening. . . . .it’s talking about the precepts and principles of God, but I believe it applies equally to anything we need to keep in front of us all the time. Make your wishes. Call them that, call them resolutions, call them goals, purposes, objectives – call them anything you like. But make them. Life is short. Let’s not waste it wondering what could be. Let’s make things happen in our lives. Pray about it, put it in your mind, and set about making your wishes come true. Shane and I have made our twenty wishes – this summer at 3:00 in the morning at Denny’s. I wrote them down. I think it’s time we revisit them – tweak them and make them real for ourselves. This life is ours. We’ve been given the gift of today. What would happen if we made every today count in our lives and the lives around us. What will you resolve? What will you wish? What will you make happen for yourself in 2010? Happy new day! Happy new year! Happy new decade! Happy new life!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving -- giving thanks -- a time to count your blessings and give credit where it's due. This Thanksgiving I have much to be thankful for. I am 42 and in relatively good health, considering I don't take great care of myself. I still have both my parents and my in-laws living. I have an incredible husband, who is constantly adding more and more blessings for which I am thankful. . . . I have a job -- not a perfect job, but a great job with good pay and (sometimes, at least) a feeling of fulfillment -- and in these economic times, that is a gargantuan blessing! I have lovely family -- a brother, who, although zany, would do anything for me if I needed it. A sister whom I love more than words -- she is my "twin" separated by 13 years, and as different as night and day. A brother-in-law who seldom ceases to make me laugh and is as much a part of my life as any blood kin. An 8-month-old nephew who is pure joy. . . . Two parents who have been supportive in every way possible and continue to listen to my successes and challenges on a regular basis. A house -- a roof, 4 walls, some heat, some air conditioning, comfortable furnishings ( and some not so comfortable, but still usable :~) A hearty group of friends on whom I can truly depend, the top of the list being Rachel and Randy and Paul and Janet. They enrich my life more than they know, along with their children: Linda, Jeff, and Connor are as much a part of our family as if we'd grown up in the same house. Katherine, David and Daniel have been a sheer joy to watch grow up and I am so blessed to have watched Rachel and Randy as parents. I look forward to incredible things from all three of them, and I am so thankful to be part of their lives. A plethora of acquaintances and work associates who share my life and bring challenges and blessings of their own. In-laws with whom I get along and share emotional experiences with: MIL Sheryl, who is so full of love and encouragement. FIL Charlie, who is a constant surprise. Grandma Nita, who has fulfilled every grandmotherly role in a tremendous way since my own passed away in 2000 & 2001. BIL Randy, currently serving in Afghanistan -- I am so proud of the man -- husband, father, soldier, grandfather he has become. His wife (and my Sis) Marina -- a special friend as well as family. Their children: Sophia (married to another soldier serving in Afghanistan) and currently living in Italy with her darling baby -- Braden, who is a cutie-patootie (and my first "great nephew", Nelson, who is graduating from Basic Training, Julia, who is a beautiful dancer and a beautiful person, and Mason, who loves us with all his being -- and the feeling is mutual. SIL Kelli, who has grown into one of the most beautiful women I know -- inside and out. . . her hubby Daniel, who is a walking encyclopedia!, and precious Wylder, who I can't wait to spend some holiday time with! For aunts and uncles and other extended family who brighten our days! For our two precious kitties, Lancelot and Merlyn who make us smile and snuggle with us and remind us to always care for others. . . .For Cars that get us where we need to go and usually where we want to go. For a comfortable bed, and time to sleep. For laughter, For music, For dreams. . . .For everything!!!!!!!! Thank you, Great God of Heaven for these and all the other innumerable blessings you've placed in my path -- especially for the ones that don't seem like blessings right now, because they are probably the ones that will help me grow the most! Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! What are you thankful for?

Oatmeal Cream Pie Reflection

Sometimes it happens. Not every time, but it's so clear when it does. I stopped yesterday for a snack -- an oatmeal cream pie. Every now and then, when I open the package, get a whiff of that distinctive scent and take the first bite with the crispy chewy edges and just a hint of fluffy white cream, I am magically transported back to first grade. I am standing, waiting for bus 161, where I get to read words from a science book for a middle school kid because he is so impressed that as a first grader I can sound out all those words. I am carrying my little blue and red "booksack". I am in Ms. Meachem's class, folding a paper into 8 boxes, drawing a little picture in each box. I am singing the color song and standing and sitting at the appropriate time. I am struggling with greater than/less than in Ms. Ellis' class. I am in reading group reading Dick and Jane. Ms. Harper is fussing because I don't make my a's properly. I am watching videos (read filmstrips? probably. . . ) Ms. Caldwell is my principal. I am amazed by the library. Cheryl Graham is my best friend -- we sit on the bus singing Top of the World by the Carpenters. She spends the night and is somewhat afraid when my dad gets home; hiding under my bed. I find the prize egg at Easter, with the help of Terri's mom (even though Terri is in my class). I spend the night with Terri. (That house is now a gift shop. . . ) I am harrassed on the bus by Leon -- he even rips my dress. I go with my mom to talk to the guy in charge of the buses. I ride with my dad to school, and he is amazed to learn that he knows my teacher (I have a much more interesting version of that story perhaps I'll share sometime). I stand at the edge of the road waiting for the bus and I can see my breath, dressed in school clothes for fall, and the air is cool and crisp and there are leaves on the ground. I am walking the hallways of a school for the first time -- first grade -- playground, snacks, nice people, people disappointed in me, books, people who need friends, writing, people who are really nasty, good, evil. It is my first foray into the real world, and it all comes back with one bite of an oatmeal cream pie.

Halloween poem III

Leaves crunch and crackle
Beneath my frightened feet
As I run harder, faster
To the rhythm of my racing heartbeat.
Running from the headless horseman,
Something flies through the air. . . .
A pumpkin at my feet. . .
My horse was scared and ran away,
And now I stand alone
To face a certain death

Or an uncertain life. . .
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. . . . . .

Halloween poem II

I see the stars on a moonless night
I taste the crispness of fall
I hear the voices of children
Yelling "Trick-or-treat!"
A bonfire smokes the air, lending its scent.
Marshmallows --
Icky, sticky, gooey, toasted delight. . . .
A scream pierces the air
In the dark on Halloween night

Halloween poem I

I see a jack o'lantern
I hear the wailing wind
I smell the smells of autumn
As cold air brushes my skin
When I eat a caramel apple --
I taste Halloween!