Winter Battle

Drill Sergeant Winter has his way. . .
He sweeps in amidst an entourage
Of frosty air and bone-chilling temperatures.
He barks out orders to the ranks of fallen leaves,
Marching them across frozen plains
In perfect formation
To the cadence of January winds.
Occasionally the army of leaves gets caught in a cyclonic battle,
Swirling into the air as the skirmish
Escalates.
The cold, gray days of battle and marching in formation
Seem unending,
Until finally the batallion of leaves is left
Frayed and in disarrayed piles
As the war ends
And the wind dies
And winter surrenders
To spring

Welcome 2010

It is New Year’s Day. The beginning of a new day, a new year, a new decade. I’ve lived through 42 New Year’s Days, and each one has been different, with different accomplishments, struggles, and things to look forward to. I wonder what this 43rd year will hold for me. What will I do with it? How will I use it? I don’t want to have any regrets – I want to use it up and extrude every bit of life from it there is to live. New Year’s Resolutions. . . .sometimes they get a bad rap. Perhaps you’re one of those who says, “I never keep them anyway. . .what’s the use?” I think there is a use. I believe in the power of new year’s resolutions. Think about it. Every successful retail businessperson knows the value of taking inventory. You look at your stock: the things that sold well that you need to make sure you reorder; the items you thought would sell, but didn’t; the items that served their purpose, but their time is up; the seasonal items. You look for the things that need to be thrown out, put on clearance sales, reordered, etc. And while our lives are not retail merchandise, the principle still applies. We need to examine our lives (and our possessions) and see what is broken that can be fixed, or if it is unfixable and needs to be discarded. We need to take stock of all the good things in our world that we should give thanks for and make sure we nurture those things. It is a sort of “cleaning house”, but not so much the physical items, but all the emotional, mental, psychological, too. What is healthy – what do I keep? What do I toss? But it’s also about orienting ourselves. A ship with no anchor is tossed with the tides. A teacher with no objectives is not very effective. A person without goals is just going through the motions. We need goals – objectives, purpose – in order to be effective human beings. It is not enough to sail through our days. We need to live them with purpose. I read a lovely (fictional) book this summer called Twenty Wishes. The ladies therein were in different stages of their lives, but they inspired each other to create a list of twenty wishes – and they each approached it in a different way. Some began tentatively, not sure what to wish for; others threw caution to the wind and made big wishes. The cool thing is that by the end of the book, many of their wishes had been fulfilled. Magic? Fiction? I think it is simply having a goal in front of you – making your wishes tangible. Looking at them daily. . . .as the Bible says (paraphrasing here – it comes from Deut. 6 if you want to read the exact wording) write them on your forehead, on your doorposts, think about them in the morning, at noon, and in the evening. . . . .it’s talking about the precepts and principles of God, but I believe it applies equally to anything we need to keep in front of us all the time. Make your wishes. Call them that, call them resolutions, call them goals, purposes, objectives – call them anything you like. But make them. Life is short. Let’s not waste it wondering what could be. Let’s make things happen in our lives. Pray about it, put it in your mind, and set about making your wishes come true. Shane and I have made our twenty wishes – this summer at 3:00 in the morning at Denny’s. I wrote them down. I think it’s time we revisit them – tweak them and make them real for ourselves. This life is ours. We’ve been given the gift of today. What would happen if we made every today count in our lives and the lives around us. What will you resolve? What will you wish? What will you make happen for yourself in 2010? Happy new day! Happy new year! Happy new decade! Happy new life!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving -- giving thanks -- a time to count your blessings and give credit where it's due. This Thanksgiving I have much to be thankful for. I am 42 and in relatively good health, considering I don't take great care of myself. I still have both my parents and my in-laws living. I have an incredible husband, who is constantly adding more and more blessings for which I am thankful. . . . I have a job -- not a perfect job, but a great job with good pay and (sometimes, at least) a feeling of fulfillment -- and in these economic times, that is a gargantuan blessing! I have lovely family -- a brother, who, although zany, would do anything for me if I needed it. A sister whom I love more than words -- she is my "twin" separated by 13 years, and as different as night and day. A brother-in-law who seldom ceases to make me laugh and is as much a part of my life as any blood kin. An 8-month-old nephew who is pure joy. . . . Two parents who have been supportive in every way possible and continue to listen to my successes and challenges on a regular basis. A house -- a roof, 4 walls, some heat, some air conditioning, comfortable furnishings ( and some not so comfortable, but still usable :~) A hearty group of friends on whom I can truly depend, the top of the list being Rachel and Randy and Paul and Janet. They enrich my life more than they know, along with their children: Linda, Jeff, and Connor are as much a part of our family as if we'd grown up in the same house. Katherine, David and Daniel have been a sheer joy to watch grow up and I am so blessed to have watched Rachel and Randy as parents. I look forward to incredible things from all three of them, and I am so thankful to be part of their lives. A plethora of acquaintances and work associates who share my life and bring challenges and blessings of their own. In-laws with whom I get along and share emotional experiences with: MIL Sheryl, who is so full of love and encouragement. FIL Charlie, who is a constant surprise. Grandma Nita, who has fulfilled every grandmotherly role in a tremendous way since my own passed away in 2000 & 2001. BIL Randy, currently serving in Afghanistan -- I am so proud of the man -- husband, father, soldier, grandfather he has become. His wife (and my Sis) Marina -- a special friend as well as family. Their children: Sophia (married to another soldier serving in Afghanistan) and currently living in Italy with her darling baby -- Braden, who is a cutie-patootie (and my first "great nephew", Nelson, who is graduating from Basic Training, Julia, who is a beautiful dancer and a beautiful person, and Mason, who loves us with all his being -- and the feeling is mutual. SIL Kelli, who has grown into one of the most beautiful women I know -- inside and out. . . her hubby Daniel, who is a walking encyclopedia!, and precious Wylder, who I can't wait to spend some holiday time with! For aunts and uncles and other extended family who brighten our days! For our two precious kitties, Lancelot and Merlyn who make us smile and snuggle with us and remind us to always care for others. . . .For Cars that get us where we need to go and usually where we want to go. For a comfortable bed, and time to sleep. For laughter, For music, For dreams. . . .For everything!!!!!!!! Thank you, Great God of Heaven for these and all the other innumerable blessings you've placed in my path -- especially for the ones that don't seem like blessings right now, because they are probably the ones that will help me grow the most! Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! What are you thankful for?

Oatmeal Cream Pie Reflection

Sometimes it happens. Not every time, but it's so clear when it does. I stopped yesterday for a snack -- an oatmeal cream pie. Every now and then, when I open the package, get a whiff of that distinctive scent and take the first bite with the crispy chewy edges and just a hint of fluffy white cream, I am magically transported back to first grade. I am standing, waiting for bus 161, where I get to read words from a science book for a middle school kid because he is so impressed that as a first grader I can sound out all those words. I am carrying my little blue and red "booksack". I am in Ms. Meachem's class, folding a paper into 8 boxes, drawing a little picture in each box. I am singing the color song and standing and sitting at the appropriate time. I am struggling with greater than/less than in Ms. Ellis' class. I am in reading group reading Dick and Jane. Ms. Harper is fussing because I don't make my a's properly. I am watching videos (read filmstrips? probably. . . ) Ms. Caldwell is my principal. I am amazed by the library. Cheryl Graham is my best friend -- we sit on the bus singing Top of the World by the Carpenters. She spends the night and is somewhat afraid when my dad gets home; hiding under my bed. I find the prize egg at Easter, with the help of Terri's mom (even though Terri is in my class). I spend the night with Terri. (That house is now a gift shop. . . ) I am harrassed on the bus by Leon -- he even rips my dress. I go with my mom to talk to the guy in charge of the buses. I ride with my dad to school, and he is amazed to learn that he knows my teacher (I have a much more interesting version of that story perhaps I'll share sometime). I stand at the edge of the road waiting for the bus and I can see my breath, dressed in school clothes for fall, and the air is cool and crisp and there are leaves on the ground. I am walking the hallways of a school for the first time -- first grade -- playground, snacks, nice people, people disappointed in me, books, people who need friends, writing, people who are really nasty, good, evil. It is my first foray into the real world, and it all comes back with one bite of an oatmeal cream pie.

Halloween poem III

Leaves crunch and crackle
Beneath my frightened feet
As I run harder, faster
To the rhythm of my racing heartbeat.
Running from the headless horseman,
Something flies through the air. . . .
A pumpkin at my feet. . .
My horse was scared and ran away,
And now I stand alone
To face a certain death

Or an uncertain life. . .
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. . . . . .

Halloween poem II

I see the stars on a moonless night
I taste the crispness of fall
I hear the voices of children
Yelling "Trick-or-treat!"
A bonfire smokes the air, lending its scent.
Marshmallows --
Icky, sticky, gooey, toasted delight. . . .
A scream pierces the air
In the dark on Halloween night

Halloween poem I

I see a jack o'lantern
I hear the wailing wind
I smell the smells of autumn
As cold air brushes my skin
When I eat a caramel apple --
I taste Halloween!